Introducing the Affidavit of Means

This is a document which you will need to complete in order to obtain a date for your divorce or judicial separation (the difference between these two is explained in another post).

It lists out what you own, what you earn, what you owe, how much you spend each week or month to live, how much your pension is worth and a few other basic details.

Completing it is easy enough, but make sure you get it right. As a male applicant you are not allowed to make mistakes. Nor should you try and hide assets, unless of course you had the foresight to create an irrevokable trust in a safe jurisdiction, well before the proceeds started in Ireland. The court, and lawyers, hate trusts as they take control away from the legal profession – which is another way of saying they won’t be able to extract cash from you.

If you hide assets and they find them you’re just reinforcing the fact that you’re a criminal.

If you think that the court itself is reasonable and will be fair and just, then you haven’t read page one – go back and read it.

Your Affidavit of Means is accompanied by Vouching. This is simply the supporting documentation for your Affidavit. It includes the bank account statements for 12 months before the initial application, and any other statements or documents which support your Affidavit of Means.

Note that you will end up compiling this document many times. The Irish court is so intentionally inefficient* that it will take between three and five years for a divorce to be finalised – and that’s optimistic. So the details of your personal life willl be trawled through by any number of accountants, solicitors, judges and so on for this entire period. Where you shop, what you eat, what you drink or smoke, what movies you like, how much you spend on inflatable elephants etc.

As the man in the process, if your ex’s legal team decide they don’t like how you spend money, or just to annoy you, they can obtain a freezing order on your bank account, on your assets or savings, which means you will not be able to sell or trade any of your assets and you will have to live with a certain amount of income and justify this spending.

Obviously the reverse is not true. While it is childishly simple for a woman in the process to obtain this kind of order, it is near impossible for a man to do so.

Remember – any bad behaviour by your ex will be viewed by the court as ‘just a normal reaction’ whereas any similar behaviour by you will result in draconian measures being taken, including the threat of prison.

So you are obliged to compile these documents on a regular basis, to show up in court when you can, and to reply to any demands for information from your ex’s lawyer by the dates they give you. Otherwise the court will get extremely irate and start threatening you.

On the other hand, your ex doesn’t need to fill our these documents and can ignore most court requests and indeed your requests for more information if you require it. She can give the court two fingers at almost any time with impunity.

Ultimately, in order to obtain the divorce she will fill out the Affidavit, and you can try and question it but it is usually a waste of time – she obviously doesn’t have any money or she wouldn’t be in court looking for a divorce in the first place.

Hang on a sec, you say, it was me who applied for the divorce?

Don’t be so petty – really you’re such a child. This is hard enough for her without your anger and bitterness.

I mean, it’s not like she would be looking for revenge – in fact, how childish of you to suggest it. NOW I can understand why she wants to get away from you.

Bastard.